BACON WHAT LOL (I've been near the Internet too long)

I swear I'm going grocery shopping today. Unfortunately, there is a forecast of two inches of snow. This means that the grocery store will be packed, because people are afraid of being snowed in and having to resort to cannibalism. I'm going in. If you don't hear from me in a day or two, it's because I cut a bitch in Whole Foods with a broken bottle of organic gluten-free beer and I'm in jail.

Spaghetti Carbonara is not exactly "healthy", per se, but it's tasty and filling and cheap. It is also made of things that I always have lying around the house: bacon, eggs, and pasta.

It can be a little tricky; the hot pasta cooks the eggs on contact. This means that you have to drain the pasta and immediately toss it with the egg mixture before the pasta starts to cool off. Now normally you want to get the pasta really drained and dry as to not water down your sauce, but in this case it's good to have some cooking water in there. Really the biggest hassle of this whole recipe is cooking the bacon. I have switched to the oven method and I am never going back. I heat my oven to 450 degrees. I line a cookie sheet with parchment paper, and I lay the bacon out on the paper. I pop the bacon on to the middle rack of oven for about 15 minutes. Keep an eye on it while it cooks. Cooking time depends on your oven, the thickness/fattiness of the bacon, and how crispy you like it. Flip the bacon strips halfway through, if you like. Remove the cookie sheet from the oven, transfer the bacon strips to a paper-towel lined plate to drain.

The benefits of this method are as follows:

1) You can cook a whole package of bacon at once. More than one package if you need to!

2) No splatter mess, and your hair/clothes/house don't get that grody cold grease smell.

3) Easy clean-up; Let the pan cool and the drippings solidify, and you just grab the parchment from the pan and throw it away. I don't have to drain hot grease into a jar like my mom used to, I don't have to scrub a pan.

I'm telling you, it's the best.

Okay, so here's what you do once you've got your bacon cooked up and ready to go:

Spaghetti Carbonara

1# dried spaghetti, linguini, or fettucini

1/2# cooked chopped bacon

4 large eggs

2T cooled melted butter

1c grated parmesan cheese

1 c chopped fresh spinach

s/p to taste

Cook pasta according to package directions, just in case you are unsure of how to cook pasta. I am not here to judge. While pasta is cooking, beat together eggs, cheese, and butter in a large bowl. Set aside. Right before draining pasta, reserve 1 cup of the cooking liquid. Drain pasta, and add to egg/cheese mixture. Toss to coat, adding reserved cooking water a little at a time. The eggs will cook on contact, the cheese will melt, and the cooking water will thin it out into a sauce. You want to use the cooking water as opposed to regular hot water because the starch left by the cooking pasta is what holds the sauce together. Toss/mix in the bacon and the spinach and serve!

I was a little skeptical as to how this would taste as leftovers, but I reheated some in the microwave and it's still totally tasty.

Super Fast Dinner!

Time - we never have as much as we need. For most of us, it's because we have terrible time management skills. The internet has ruined us. For most people it used to be a luxury to be able to sit and read the newspaper, now we get all pissy if we don't get to spend an hour or two every day dicking around Digg or whatever. I've been reading a lot about how constant access to information is rewiring our brains, and it's scary. I've been implementing some new rules for myself; Don't refresh Facebook. Don't carry your phone around and check it every minute (I leave it in the car, my bag, the other side of the house, I don't give a fig anymore). Close the laptop if you're watching a movie. You don't want to look at Reddit, so don't (it's a time-suck, and it's stupid).

It HELPS. I get so much more done. I focus on one thing at a time. I don't want to stab my friends and colleagues (well, just a little less).

Even so, some days I don't have the time to assemble anything too complicated - but I still need to get something tasty-and-nutritious-that-is-not-pizza on the table for the fam.

If I don't kick out a frozen Trader Joe's entree (surprisingly tasty, but not enough in one bag to feed us all), my go-to is pasta. As I've mentioned before, I like to use enriched whole wheat pasta for it's flavor and nutritive value. One pound of cooked pasta, one jar of pesto (or about a cup of home-made, and 4 oz cream cheese mixed together is a big winner around here. This time I used Tofutti's 'Better Than Cream Cheese' so that Jeffrey could enjoy without pain, and I have to say that I am pleasantly surprised at how good that stuff tastes. Very very close to actual cream cheese flavor, tastier than store brand cheap cream cheese for sure. Before you drain the pasta, reserve about a cup of the cooking water, then mix it with the pasta, pesto and cheese. It turns it into more of a sauce by warming and thinning the cream cheese.

On the side, I made braised greens with bacon. Our CSA farm share just started up and that means that we have leafy greens to spare. I used bok choy and dinosaur kale this round.

Braised Greens With Bacon

1/2 lb good quality bacon

1 large bunch hardy leafy greens (kale, collards, bok choy, mustard)

1/4 c white wine

1 shallot, minced

Rinse and roughly chop greens. Set aside.

Slice raw bacon into 1/4" cubes or slices. Heat a wok or very large skillet on medium high, and fry the bacon bits until crispy. Remove bacon with a slotted spoon and drain on paper towel. Fry shallots in bacon grease until they just start to brown, then add white wine. Add greens, stir, cover. Cook, covered, for 2-3 minutes until greens are wilted and tender. Stir in bacon bits, season to taste with salt and pepper. Best served immediately.

If you add bacon to anything, my kids will eat it. Anything. I wish it was better for us.